Date: 2018-02-19 14:39
I really appreciated this posting and although all comments don 8767 t necessarily fit our/my situation, many of them hit the nail right on it 8767 s friggin head! I am both the BM (which I dispise saying because it triggers the words 8775 bowel movement 8776 for me) and the Step, of course in different situations. My fiance and I have been together for 5 6/7 years, he has 7 *censored*s and my son 8767 s father is remarried. So, I get the irrationability the Birth Ms go through as suggested in #6 and 7, but I also sometimes hate my boss and my job yet somehow find the will to hold back my frustrations in lieu of not loosing those things I 8767 ve worked so hard to accomplish (Duh, right?). So why is it that we as Step Ms need to accept the Birth Ms irrationability seeping into their actions? Birth Ms, what 8767 s up with not being able to take our own accoutability on this? I like how Jenna has pointed the perpetual finger at both 8775 sides 8776 ie 6& 7 describe the emotional struggles of the Birth M then 8& 9 follow it up with the 8775 egging 8776 on of the unaware Step M. Yes, can we not agree that we are both to blame? However, I can 8767 t help but thinking of the process as the Birth M being upset at the situation and taking it out on the Steps as the figurative red-headed step *censored*ren. Now, Birth Ms, before you light your torch and come after me in the middle of the night, I recognize that not ALL situations are like this and many Steps are to blame (Steps, you too please put away your torch lighter). We are all trying to 8775 figure it out 8776 but the Steps did not necessarily ask to be put in such a difficult spot and many never understood that it would be this difficult. When I look at, for example, #6 8775 she doesn 8767 t hate you, she hates what you represent, 8776 I can 8767 t help but understand that feeling, but a fraction of a second later think, 8775 well how is that the Steps doing? 8776 Why is the Step expected to change her behaviors of overstepping, while the Birth M is supposed to be understood and poor behavior 8775 allowed? 8776 Really? It reminds me of how often times couples who have *censored*s deal with maritial problems and the *censored*s become the catalyst. It 8767 s not the *censored*s that are the problem, the maritial problems existed prior, however the *censored*s are forcing the parents to confront them. I am really interested in seeing feedback on this. Again, I am both a Birth M, dealing with a Step M, as I am a Step M dealing with a Birth M. I find being a Step and having to take the fall the most challenging part.